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mazzi_maz Marius Listhrop

Why do people use age as an insult? Like someone can help how old they are... I CAN NOT CHANGE THE DAY MY MUM AND DAD DID IT!

2 hours ago Reply Retweet Favorite 337

allisongreen Allison Green

I think it's pretty badass that my dad's name is Bud Green.

2 hours ago Reply Retweet Favorite 35

jackwhitehall Jack Whitehall

Nil points!!!!! Watching Eurovision makes me feel like my dad! If it wasn't for UK you'd all be singing in German!!

3 hours ago Reply Retweet Favorite 1,487

omg-facts.com/view/Facts/35661

cajun_peach Based Hair Lady

A teen girl shot her dad with an arrow after he took away her cell phone! Details --> http://t.co/6Gx1jnGT

2 hours ago Reply Retweet Favorite 390 more

ihadbiebergasm fondue ∞.

Dad:"Justin is so gay!" What you want to say:"STFU U SON OF A BITCH UR THE GAY HERE WANT ME TO PUNCH U?" What u really say:"No he's not dad"

3 hours ago Reply Retweet Favorite 28

headlessgang a gangsters diary

My ex sent me a picture of her having sex with her new boyfriend. I sent it to her dad.

35 minutes ago Reply Retweet Favorite 697

basseyworldlive Surely, Bassey

My dad told me when I was young, "Strength isn't about never getting knocked down, it's about getting up every single time you are."

2 hours ago Reply Retweet Favorite 14

ibiebsgasm Marcia and Luana ∞

Me: "Mom, Dad, I'm pregnant because of Jerry..." Parents: "WHAT? WHO IS THIS 'JERRY'?!" Justin: http://t.co/OGlilT3D

3 hours ago Reply Retweet Favorite 29

mrwilllywonka Condescending Wonka

When I'm a dad, I'm gonna force my kids to watch the movie "2012" and tell them I survived all that crazy shit.

2 hours ago Reply Retweet Favorite 81

dillonfrancis Dillon Francis

Oh I'm a Dj/actor/singer/songwriter/doctor/child/mom/dad/photographer/vantriliquist/surfer/chef/lawyer/EVERYTHING #fuckoff

2 hours ago Reply Retweet Favorite 78

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