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wiiiferreli Will Ferrell

*At the pet store* Me: "Hey look its Nemo!" Worker: "Sir that?s a clown fish" Me: "Bitch that?s a nemo..."

7 days ago Reply Retweet Favorite 57

itweetfacts iTweetFacts™

Having a pet enhances your relationship skills. Couples who own a pet tend to remain together longer.

3 days ago Reply Retweet Favorite 57

nikkisixx Nikki Sixx

I was thinking today about doing a pet clothing line. I think it would be extremely credible.

6 days ago Reply Retweet Favorite 119

wikiawkward Wiki Awkward

Me: looks at pet sleeping Pet: Me: Pet: Me: Pet: Me: Pet: breathes Me: oh thank god i thought you died

6 days ago Reply Retweet Favorite 14

sarahburris Sarah Burris

the Moore Home Depot is collecting animals as they find them - so if you lost your pet you might try there #Oklahoma #tornado

4 days ago Reply Retweet Favorite 382

yelyahwilliams Hayley from Paramore

@antoboros it's chad's biggest pet peeve. i hope you just punched em right straight smack in the face, YEAH

2 days ago Reply Retweet Favorite 27

havingafatday Bobby Homer

pet puppy = pet pup pet pup = pup pet pup pet ≠ puppet In conclusion, please take your hand out of there.

2 days ago Reply Retweet Favorite 16

willyferrell Will

That awkward moment when you're at your friend's house and he is getting yelled at, so you just stand there and pet the cat.

2 days ago Reply Retweet Favorite 100

magicpeacelove Jonathan Steigman

@joerogan Are You Living in a Simulation? | Here's the 2003 paper that kicked off your favorite pet theory. http://t.co/L7L2olP3Tv #IRobot

5 days ago Reply Retweet Favorite 53

boyadee Boya Dee

Then the next breda try buss off the rusty 45 and it just backfires and blows mans finger clean off... Feds didnt pet to just take him out!!

2 days ago Reply Retweet Favorite 3,415

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