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India’s Ice-Cream Revolution

The country is united in the face of the extreme form of apartheid being practised by Indians (of unknown passport origin) running Haagen-Dazs ice-cream franchises. Through a nationwide poll conducted this morning by the Times of India, we have learnt that from farmers to Infosys employees, college students to housewives, Maoists to government-run-militias and the RSS to Rahul Gandhi, we have as... moreThe country is united in the face of the extreme form of apartheid being practised by Indians (of unknown passport origin) running Haagen-Dazs ice-cream franchises. Through a nationwide poll conducted this morning by the Times of India, we have learnt that from farmers to Infosys employees, college students to housewives, Maoists to government-run-militias and the RSS to Rahul Gandhi, we have as a nation come together to overturn a common oppressor — a historic occassion that has only one other precedent i.e., the Dandi March when non-Indians (of superior-race passport origin) attempted to surreptitiously force non-iodized salt on our delicate palates. view page