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4,249 Posts by ahm76
4,249 Posts by ahm76
When people ask me, "Are you a comedian or just a big fan?" it feels like when surveys ask, "Are you a white person or just a big black?"
My latest butt-cheek-dance is choreographed to 'One' by Metallica. Each quiver/clench evokes tragedy and anger and darkness.
IM THINKING OF GETTING SUSHI FOR #BRUNCH!! *breastfeeds chilled bottle of white wine* *photographs fingernails* *mainlines yogurt*
If you aren't following @Ahm76 you're missing out on the best friend you never had; orgasm stuff.
Oh, you're "snug as a bug in a rug?" Are you a bed bug? You don't KNOW what species you are? I'm calling the cops.
If you have ever patronized the bar that's within earshot of my bedroom, I hope to read of your dismemberment on the news.
Dear mr Jobs, I tried to take a pic of the moon and it came out dumb. Pls fix this feeture ok RIP ok http://t.co/YEf1DThWTi
When Steve Jobs stops being dead, I'm gonna request an iPhone cam that can capture the majesty of the moon when it's being a pervert creep.
My fav adult wipe is called FreshMates. I like the idea that I'm wiping my butt with a mate. A friend. A cold, moist friend.
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