Filter
twitter.com/daniel_barker
Various
–
I resent being asked to agree to this repeatedly with no obvious way of declining.
1,305 Posts by daniel_barker
1,305 Posts by daniel_barker
I've just been informed that a friend of mine was given a fake vagina about a year ago & has finally used it. Apparently it's "lovely". Ew.
Internet dating profile: "I've just arrived back in the UK after 10 years travelling across Asda."
@daniel_barker @mangmangmang Anyone who isn't following both of you doesn't deserve hot sweaty man flesh.
"You look pretty tonight Abi. That said, I'm not wearing my glasses." - my mother. The master of the backhanded compliment.
@daniel_barker Nah, I'll be thinking 'that bastard owed me at least a crate of beer, I'd better make the most of his wake'.
If I should die, think only this of me: FUCK, I wish that guy wasn't dead, he was AWESOME.
What if, when we die, the light we see at the end of the tunnel is just ourselves getting pushed out of another vagina?
The German word for the contraceptive pill is "Antibabypille". This is one of many reasons why I love the German language.
@andrewhunterm I know you won't burn me like that damn whore did/ You'll always respect me because you're a corvid. #ornithologyrap
next page ›
Page 1 of 100