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San Francisco
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...two thousand miles I roamed just to make this dock my home...
5,152 Posts by farleftcoast
5,152 Posts by farleftcoast
You’re right. Gay marriage is a slippery slope.
A slippery slope to sexless nights filled with ice cream and Oreos.
Every time I see a young, attractive couple, I like to imagine all the things they probably enjoy doing to each other's nipples.
Peter Peter @ deleter
No one kept a timeline neater
In a basement he did dwell
Taking dick pics with his cell
©2013 Twitter Nursery Rhymes™
I can’t afford weed and a cleaning lady. So when I clean I just get really fucking high, wear a skirt and pretend my name is Guadalupe.
FACT: When a woman says "Put it wherever you want", it almost never applies to your penis or the heavy fucking furniture you're holding.
Memories of Grandma (age 16)
Grandma: You hold your cigarette like a woman.
Me: You should see how I hold another man’s penis, Grandma!
Sorry for all the Powerball hate, guys. It’s definitely the funnest regressive tax in America. Good luck!
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