Everything
Links
Tweets
Photos
Videos
Experts
Trending
Sign in:
Twitter
Facebook
Topsy
Search
Advanced Search
6,995
posts
Highly Influential
Filter
Everything
Retweets
@funnyoneliners
twitter.com/funnyoneliners
Tampa Bay
– One liners..ReTweets..The best of the old and the new humor compiled in one place.
6,995 Posts by funnyoneliners
funnyoneliners
Funny One Liners
I slept like a rock last night meaning I woke up in the flower bed with the house key under my belly. RT
@Boleyngirly
2 hours ago
Reply
Retweet
Favorite
46
funnyoneliners
Funny One Liners
I'm hoping this vacation will go into overtime.
2 hours ago
Reply
Retweet
Favorite
46
funnyoneliners
Funny One Liners
I just made my hamster a strong coffee. I don't want him falling asleep at the wheel. RT
@sixthformpoet
15 hours ago
Reply
Retweet
Favorite
123
funnyoneliners
Funny One Liners
I hope my travel mug tells stories to all my stay-at-home dishes. RT
@Ty_Schutz
17 hours ago
Reply
Retweet
Favorite
72
funnyoneliners
Funny One Liners
Shopping malls have benches, so guys can sit while they give up the will to live. RT
@kellysdf
20 hours ago
Reply
Retweet
Favorite
147
funnyoneliners
Funny One Liners
I can always count on you to be totally unreliable. RT
@DrTwittenheimer
24 hours ago
Reply
Retweet
Favorite
74
funnyoneliners
Funny One Liners
You should never run away from your problems. Unless your problem is, like, you're being chased by a bear. RT
@JerryThomas
2 days ago
Reply
Retweet
Favorite
288
funnyoneliners
Funny One Liners
Nothing makes a fish bigger than almost being caught.
2 days ago
Reply
Retweet
Favorite
146
funnyoneliners
Funny One Liners
You can get a hot cup of Joe anytime at the Cannibal Diner. RT
@IGotsSmarts
2 days ago
Reply
Retweet
Favorite
36
funnyoneliners
Funny One Liners
My wife suggested we just go crazy tonight but I think that's unfair. She'd have a huge head start. RT
@AristotlesNZ
2 days ago
Reply
Retweet
Favorite
106
next page ›
Page 1 of 100
share
this profile on Twitter
rss
subscribe to this profile
Sync
Fetch missing tweets, remove a deleted or private account, update bio info. Press the button and we will sync this Topsy profile to this Twitter profile!