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8,073 Posts by irowlf
8,073 Posts by irowlf
My mom says that quoting Smash Mouth lyrics is stupid, but only shooting stars break the mold.
*you walk into my house*
*I lift my head from a giant pair of boobs, look you in the eyes, and yell "HELLLOOOO!" just like Mrs. Doubtfire*
As you can see ladies and gentleman of the jury, this man is guilty! The proof lies in the pudding *pulls out briefcase, pudding leaks out*
"looks like cum, Boys" "He died of Cum" "there's definitely red cum all over that house" - me as a crime scene investigator
NANCY, HOLD MY CALLS. I JUST FOUND 19 FULL EPISODES OF ROCKO'S MODERN LIFE ON YOUTUBE.
*stares at a plastic bag fluttering in the wind*
You can't tell me what to do! You're not my real dad!
*the bag flies away*
DAD! COME BACK!
Look, unless this PowerPoint presentation is the uncensored director's cut version of The Nutty Professor 2, I'm outta this bitch.
[at Petco]
Look at me! *I glance over to see my grandma pouncing on turtles* Lol. Its-a-me Mario.
"Grandma stop!"
*she's now eating shrooms*
[Rick Ross at McDonalds]
Psst *looks right, looks left* u gonna eat that? *points at chair*
"Um no"
Fanastic *Rick nibbles on seat cushion*
How awesome would it be if your grandma did the Ray Lewis dance every time she entered your house?
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