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as much use as spongelegs in a down pour! 18+ Avi by @blindfumble
1,007 Posts by jcautomatic
1,007 Posts by jcautomatic
JOCKEYS banging two coconuts together and saying "I can't speak at the moment I'm at work" is great way to end nuisance calls.
@TwopTwips
I went to Alchoholics Anoymous last night. The chap running it suggested that I should try drinking Canada Dry, so I'm moving to Vancouver.
@TheCatsDaughter @lilythepurr @thuckster69 I lost my job at the corn beef factory because I kept making a hash out of it.
Wife has just pinched a slice and ballsed up my cheese to cracker ratio.
Fuck. My. Life.
For once in my life, I have counted the number of slices I've cut from a block of cheese and selected the correct number of crackers.
DRIVERS keep your distance from cars that say "Baby on Board" as the driver is probably getting distracted by the little shit.
@TwopTwips
ELASTICATED CHINOS are a perfect alternative to wearing bicycle clips if you still want to look like a bellend when you dismount.
@TwopTwips
Please remember if your out on your Raliegh Chopper this morning although the seat is 2ft long. No backers!
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