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twitter.com/jennyjohnsonhi5
Houston, Texas
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I'm a TV news producer, writer, wife, dog lover & asshole
7,438 Posts by jennyjohnsonhi5
7,438 Posts by jennyjohnsonhi5
If your profile pic is a shirtless selfie taken in your bathroom, you're 80% more likely to get drunk and drown in a lake this weekend. #USA
Not true. This Mormon family on my street has 8 kids and they're all dildos. RT @UberFacts: It's illegal to own 6 or more dildos in Texas.
This Very Bored Looking 14-Year-Old Girl Covering Van Halen Will Blow Your Mind
buzzfeed.com/ryanhatesthis/this-very-bored-looking-14-year-old-girl-covering-van-halen
@WolfVanHalen This. RT @BuzzFeed: This Very Bored-Looking 14-Year-Old Girl Covering Van Halen Will Melt Your Face Off http://t.co/elQ26645jO
I was always told to respect my elders, but Jerry Lewis can suck my dick.
Gay kids can be in the Boy Scouts Of America, but when they become adults, they're banned from ever being scout leaders. #USA
@jimmykimmel Ask @MRuff221 if he wants to come live in my house. Tell him "No shirt. No problem." Then give him a wink. Thanks!
Gasping for air while saying "Oh. My. God." as a waiter brings you dessert makes you look like a big fat fuck.
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